So Much Can Be Said When It's Quiet

Tonight, Shelly and Keaton went to dinner with his family in Salt Lake. Kelsey wasn’t home from school yet and wasn’t expected to be for at least a couple more hours. I had just dropped Whitney off at the “Crabtree” (aka where all the engineering majors hang out eating fruits snacks and studying). The apartment was all mine for this brief period of time. While this isn’t terribly uncommon, I was particularly…(I can’t think of the appropriate word…excited? happy?) whatever because it was dark outside. Many don’t know this about me, but I love when it’s dark or when dim lighting is your only source of electricity. It’s just comforting to me. Anywho, I brought out my red pillow from my bedroom, put my iTunes on repeat, and turned out the lights. I laid down on the floor and stuck my feet on the couch. With the music softly playing in the background and all the lights off, I just stared at the ceiling and played with my necklace. It felt like everything in the world, of the world, about the world, just paused for a moment or two. It was just me and the quiet. So much can be said when it’s quiet. I found that that’s when I do my best thinking. Often I find that taking just a minute to inhale a few breaths, stare at the ceiling and listen to the unknown wonders of silence can heal what might be broken. I began to think if I could have anything in this particular moment, what would I want; what would I have right now? I thought how wonderful it would be to have someone to sit with in the quiet. There would be no need to talk. I’ve found that so much can be said without uttering a single word. I like the quiet. People may be healed. Resolutions may be decided. Smiles may appear. Trust may be formed or reformed. Or for a brief moment in time, one may feel a small step closer to the veil and one with Father in Heaven.

I thought about a lot of things while I lied on the floor tonight. I thought about how in 3 hours, my Italian Renaissance professor has only talked about 1 small chapel painted by Giotto and a couple altar pieces by Cimabue and Duccio. The knowledge and spiritual gifts one acquires when they sit down to learn art is a testimony close to my heart. I thought about my baby niece or nephew that’s waiting so patiently to come down to earth to be with mommy and daddy. I hope I can love them as much as they deserve and more. I thought about the future and what it will hold. Who will be included? Whose already been left behind? I thought about my testimony. I thought about Christ’s love for me as an individual; as Megan Anne. Does He really have a plan specifically designed for me? I thought about how small I am in the grand scheme of our immaculate universe; which led me to think about the people I personally care about. They, too, are just another human being on the planet. However, in my eyes, so many of you are the biggest parts of me. I have this quote up in my bedroom and while it’s corny and somewhat cliché, I believe it wholeheartedly: “To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.” I have people who are my world. Am I a “world” to another? I thought about regrets and how thankful I am that while they hurt in a particular moment, they don’t have to live with you forever. With our agency, we have the beautiful capability to let it go through means of the Atonement and forgiveness of one’s self and others. I thought about what it means to be a friend and to have a friend. What a fortune and blessing it is to call someone your friend. Let us all take care of our friends! And if there comes a point where a pair must part ways, as difficult as it can be then, cherish what you had once and allow it to shape you into a better person for what lies in store. I thought about things I’ve said and things I wish I’d said. I thought about times where I wish I was more courageous. I thought about times when I wish I could say what I was thinking. I thought about my bad choices. But then I thought about my good choices and where’s they’ve gotten me. Life isn’t solely determined when you’re 20 years old, as much as I like to think or sometimes wish it did…emphasis on the sometimes). I thought about what I’d say if I could say anything to anybody. Then I realized in that silent, peaceful moment, I wouldn’t want to say anything. I’d want to lie on the floor with my feet on the couch, music playing ever so softly in the background and listen to the stillness surrounding the room. For, but a moment, everything was quiet and still and for me, calm.

Then what would happen? I got a call to pick up my roommate. The couples came home. And life became loud again. But I treasure that for one particular moment; I could just close my eyes and find peace..

Loves!

Also, if you’re reading this, that wasn’t all I called for.