If Today Was You're Last Day

I began writing this post nearly two weeks ago, but due to the busyness of the holidays, I haven’t been able to fully finish or publish it until now. I apologize! For those near and dear who read this particular post, I hope you take what I say to the heart, as it comes directly from mine.

Picture this with me: it’s about 2:30 a.m. on a Thursday night (Thursday December 13^th to be exact) and my roommate, Katie, and I are sitting in our front room desperately trying to study for the last day of finals that were only a few short hours away from beginning. Although the precise events leading up to Katie and I jamming to “rock” are a little hazy now, I believe I was sitting at the kitchen table reviewing American Art flashcards when Kate stood up and demanded we have a cereal break and each choose a song that would get us “pumped” for the rest of the long night of studying. Bless her because at that moment, I do remember needing a break. When it came my turn to choose a song, I couldn’t think of one I really needed to hear, but I went to my “rock” playlist anyways and clicked on If Today Was Your Last Day from Nickelback. The song sparked a conversation between Katie and I on what we would do if we found out right then and there that we only had 24 more hours to live. Various answers and ideas came from us both, but we both agreed that we would want the people we leave behind to know they were tremendously loved. While the conversation lasted probably no more than 10 minutes, I didn’t realize at the time that I would look back on the things I’d said in just a few hours.

Fast forward to roughly 12:45 p.m. that Friday afternoon as I am walking out of my third final. I go to check my phone when I see that my aunt Sara had posted another status update on Facebook; such status would be one of many in response to the elementary school shooting in Connecticut that had occurred earlier that morning. Shocked, confused and naturally upset, I sat down on the couches of the Jesse Knight Building third floor and KSL’d the words “shooting” and “Connecticut” to discover the horrific massacre of one man’s choices; the death of over 20 children and adults. I couldn’t believe it. Instead of being the most wonderful time of the year for innocent children, that Friday morning became a nightmare.

I do not wish to dwell on the subject, although I do think it is eminent to take the time to reflect on the events that occurred and think about what each of us can learn from it. For me, as I sat down on the couches and looked out the window to all those walking across campus, I realized that while I’m sure most of those children were tucked in their beds around the time Katie and I were having our conceivably morbid conversation on death, for them, they had less than 24 hours to live; to begin to live their lives; to begin anything; such sweet spirits taken from this earth long before they were perhaps meant to. What an inconceivable tragedy it was; that still is! Much to my dismay, I still had one last final to take care of that Friday afternoon, but before putting the news away and reviewing one last time for Greek, I put my head back, shut my eyes and envisioned if I were in their place and in that classroom when the first gun shots fired.  It is hard to imagine. It is painful to believe the actions of another human. While I don’t think it is easy or even possible to look for any sort of positive that came from this tragedy, for those of us left behind to deal with the painful emotions that are born with such heartbreak, maybe we can learn to live or at least think about what we each would do if today was our last day.

As some of the song lyrics go: “…if today was your last day, if tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last?  Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you had? Would you call those friends you never see; reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? Would you find that one you’re dreaming of? Swear up and down to God above that you’d finally fall in love? If today was your last day, if today was your last day…” Family, personal and now nationwide tragedy proves to us, proves to me, over and over again that death comes unexpectedly. Life happens and sometimes the people we love our taken from us without warning. I would hate to finish my life with a heart full of regret because someone else left me before I could express to them my love, my gratitude and my appreciation for them. Life, as we know, can and will be a challenge sometimes. But it’s my belief that one of the greatest joys we have in this life is the chance to live and choose what we do and who we do it with. We’re each able to choose whether we’ll take the risk of a new relationship, apply for the adoption, go on that spontaneous vacation with friends or quit the job you hate. It’s through the ups and downs, the good days and bad, and the moments that make you cry tears of joy or tears of pain that make you into who you are; into who you’re meant to be in the future. Take the step on the unpaved path and create your own. Try something new. Love the person you’re too afraid to approach with sincere feelings. Don’t run away; instead stop, look around at the beauty surrounding you and realize that it could all be taken away so quickly. Enjoy the journey now and fight like hell (sorry readers – it was just necessary!) for the things and the people you want and that which will make you happiest. I write this not so much from atop my soap box, but instead for me to remember in the rocky future I’m sure that awaits me, and us all.  

Finally, and above all, I want my family and friends to know that I love you and if today were my last day, I would want this sentence left behind in the hearts of those I treasure:  I care for you, I miss you when I’m not with you and my prayers and warm wishes are always heading for you. I’m grateful for my terrific family and the time we share together, especially over this last holiday break. It’s in the little moments like playing Disney Monopoly or the train game, eating yummy goodness from the hands of mom or grandma or hearing the giggle of my number one chubby cheek man that I’ve realized how special it is to be together and how lucky each one of us are to have a family. I love you all! Even now, I still watch and learn from you. I’m anxiously looking forward to seeing where we each go in the future and the various roads we each will take. I’m grateful and blessed to have friends who make me laugh, make me struggle and make me happy. We’re not always each other’s favorite, however, when it comes down to what’s important, the overall friendship will always win. I’m happy for the laughs, for the tears, for the food fights, for the outlandishly large, ridiculous Christmas tree that landed in my front room at 1 o’clock in the morning, for the baked goods that never get cleaned up (or usually eaten), for the scary movies, for the random trips to Wal-Mart and DI (still disgusted by it all!), for weekend getaways, for the chats we have at work while we eat lunch or dinner, for the reunions we have when one of us gets married or is expecting a baby, for the 2 dozen doughnuts we needed to have, for the birthday parties and dinners and shopping trips, for the little notes left on the mirror or door just for the intention of making one smile, for the dance parties, for the late night chats, for the arguments that mean nothing in the long run, for the good times and for the bad. Even when I don’t always see it, I’m grateful for them. I’m grateful for my new found friends that have opened their home (and couch) and given their invaluable advice and offered a lending ear to an old friend who needed a new place to go with new friends to have for the new chapter about to begin in her life. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You all mean the world to me. Finally, I’m grateful for that one person who isn’t perfect, but is perfect for me; who I get to see and admire because of their talents; who I have grown to love in a way I never knew was possible until now. I love you most!

May we each take the time to enjoy the little things and express to those most in need of tender loving care. May we, may [I], learn to let it all go, stop caring about what I’m “supposed” to do and start living the way I want to. May we all live today like it was our last day.

Loves!

The Year I Ate Mac 'n Cheese for Thanksgiving!

Number 42: check! I’m happy to report that for Thanksgiving this year, mom, dad, and I flew to New York City to celebrate the holiday with Melina. During that time, Melina and I were both able to knock off another goal from our bucket lists: attend the Macey’s Thanksgiving Day Parade live! Well, goal accomplished! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…we’ll start at the beginning of the trip…

Mama and papa smurf and I flew on an overnight flight Tuesday evening and arrived in NYC early Wednesday morning. Melina was working Tuesday night so we expected to get to her apartment before she. To prepare for this potentially happening, sissy had sent us spare keys to her apartment in the mail to let ourselves in while she was still at work. Melina’s apartment is between a little general store and a Tasti-delight (a frozen yogurt shop – which I actually found quite amusing being that I live in Provo where frozen yogurt shops are on just about every other corner). We got to her apartment early in the morning and essentially collapsed into bed. Melina got home a few hours later and woke us up to shrieks of joy. After hugs and kisses, we decided we all still needed more sleep, so we settled down and snoozed the morning and early afternoon away. Once we finally got up, we freshened up a bit and then hit the streets. All of us had experienced New York before except mom so it was fun to watch her and see / hear her impressions of the Big Apple. It was also fun to walk around with Melina. She has truly integrated into a New York local!! The weather was beautiful! I've only been to New York when it is so bitterly cold it seeps down to the bone. Not this time; this time, some of the vibrant red and orange leaves were still on the trees and the weather stayed in the low 50s. It was just perfect, perfect, perfect!  We decided to head over to Battery Park and take a ferry around the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. Due to Hurricane Sandy, both islands were closed for repair, but the ferry was still up and running. As we walked through the park, we got pretzels and hot dogs from a street vendor. Yes, I have now officially eaten my first New York hot dog. For someone who thinks hot dogs are merely mystery meat, I found mine to be quite tasty.

As luck would have it, the sun was setting as our ferry was going around the harbor. It made for some beautiful pictures. Mom was telling us about her great-great grandfather who arrived at Ellis Island way back when. He could not speak English so when the time came to sign his name on the registry, he simply put an X. Admittedly, I kept referring to Titanic and how sad it was that Jack never got to stand in front of the Statue of Liberty with Rose. Yes, I know, so typical. Oh well.

The tower under construction is the new Freedom Tower, the building being erected in commemoration of the Twin Towers

  

 It was so gorgeous in the harbor!

By the time we got off the ferry, it was dark. We walked up and down Wall Street and the financial district. Gosh I’d forgotten how tall those buildings are! We tried to see the 9/11 memorial, but it had closed by the time we had gotten there. When you look up at the massive space that once stood the twin towers, suddenly you feel a little smaller and your life gets put into a bit more perspective. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to be where I stood 11 years ago. We eventually made our way back to the east side and Melina took us to one of our favorite restaurants, a Turkish restaurant near her home. I will admit, I was not expecting to have that great of a meal. I ordered the beef kabobs and they were surprisingly very tasty. But the real delight was dessert. Now, mom, dad and Melina will laugh at this because when the waiter set the rice pudding down on the table, I openly expressed how it looked and had the texture of old gravy. Melina convinced me to have one taste. Well that tiny taste turned into me nearly licking the bowl clean. Can we all say yum?? I admit here, I was wrong, Melina was right because that dessert was superb.

Thursday morning we woke up before the crack of dawn and prepared for the trek down to Central Park West to join the masses for the Macey’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. With hot cocoa thermals in hand, we hailed a cab who took us as close as possible before being blocked off by police. We found a great spot next to the curb (super for elevation above the crowd – 3 guesses who I’m quoting here ;). We had a little less than 3 hours to kill before the parade started. We met some nice, fun people, we met some iffy people and then we met some people whom I’m still cursing and spitting their name! Yes, I’m referring to you North Carolina! Err, there was this lady (all of 5 foot tall maybe) that just crawled her way through the crowd half an hour before the parade started hoping to get a descent spot alongside the people who had been there since 5:30 a.m. If looks could kill…we were all so mad. And then when the parade actually started, she lied her way through to the very front. I was appalled! Whew – sorry for my rant. Apparently I am not over her yet. Anywho, on a lighter note, she was gone by the time the parade started and we made a great friend with a man named Daryl. I think if we lived in New York or Daryl lived in Draper, he and dad would be best friends. They were having the greatest time together; just like two peas in a pod. Daryl is about a 6 foot 5 inch, black daddy who lives about an hour from the city and was there with / for his 12 year old son, Jordan, who helped us all out when the celebrities came by and we knew like none of them. Daryl was quite protective over his son and soon over us and made certain no one made it past us (including any sneaky North Carolina-ers). We had great spots and could see the parade generally pretty well. I’m happy I got to go to the parade. It was fun to see figures such as Carly Rae Jepsen, Colbie Caillat, Whoppi Goldberg, Trace Atkins, and Jimmy Fallon. 

This was about how far away we were from the street. Not too shabby, huh?

We were a little protective of our spot. What can we say - it was good!! So when more and more people started showing up, dad told us we needed to "stay strong" and guard are territory. One of his suggestions was to branch out like a lizard. He kept stretching out his arms and making us laugh. 

This man wins "Father of the Year" award. He came at  5 a.m. to ensure a good spot for his two kids; a boy and a girl probably no older than 6. While they waited hours for the parade to start, they watched a movie on the iPad inside their "tent", staying nice and warm. And when the parade started, the kids could see perfectly. Pretty good dad, huh? We made friends with his family. They were darling!

Mommy's Girls

Daddy's Girls too...

And of course, the floats and balloons! 

 We love Charlie Brown in the Clegg house! 

 Thought of my favorite Portyr and Maddy when Spongebob came by

 Whoopi Goldberg was on this float, dressed in pirate gear and all

 "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause" 

 Santa!! 

When the parade was over, we made our way home to Melina’s apartment. We chose a quick and seemingly tasty lunch for our Thanksgiving: McDonald's. And in complete honesty here, every single one of us enjoyed that meal. It tasted really good at the time. While we were eating, we learned that McDonald’s delivers in New York. I remember thinking how grateful I was McDonald’s in Provo doesn't because if that were the case, my friends and I would be elephants by now. Since we had been up before 4, when we got home we stuck in Miracle on 34^th Street (it just seemed appropriate after watching the parade) and took naps. Much to my surprise, I didn't conk out until after Miracle was over and we put in White Christmas. Eventually we got up and took the subway over to Times Square. Dad found us a really nice restaurant near there for our Thanksgiving feast. The rest of the family ordered the traditional Thanksgiving meal. I, on the other hand, am not a huge fan of turkey and the whole Thanksgiving meal (I’m more of a Christmas girl [ham, stringy potatoes, rolls, broccoli and cheese…]) so I ordered the mac ‘n cheese, which in my defense was given 5 stars by The New York Times. It was quite scrumptious and I hold no regrets. For dessert, dad and Melina got a red velvet cake and mom and I split a hot fudge sundae. It was certainly the most unique and unusual Thanksgivings I've ever had, but it was a lot of fun. We kept joking around that we were going to make a twist on the movie “A Christmas Story”, but for Thanksgiving. I’m grateful for my family. We had a good time!

 We noticed in taxis that they played mormon.org commercials. We were thrilled when we walked into time square and saw a HUGE advertisement. It's no secret, the church is growing; even in places you'd least expect

The "half naked cowboy" joined us in time square as well. Only in New York (and certainly Vegas!)...

Friday was designated by dad as “my day”. And he was right; I was certainly spoiled by my family. Melina made us a tasty breakfast of eggs, toast, fruit and of course, cereal for my papa and me. We left the apartment and took the bus to central park. As we walked around, Melina showed us some of her favorite spots to go to when she isn't working. Central Park is gorgeous! I've only been at Christmas time when things are dead (still beautiful of course with the lights), but the leaves made it so much prettier to look at this time.

 I took this in honor of Sara and all my roommates who love "Friends". This is the infamous fountain the cast play in during the opening credits

This bridge in Central Park has been in SO many movies including (but of course not limited to) "Maid of Honor", "Enchanted" and "27 Dresses"

After Central Park, we went to Colombia Presbyterian Hospital where Melina has been working for the last 10 weeks. We are so proud of her! She is fearless. I couldn't imagine flying across the United States, to a place I don’t know and people I've never met. And yet Melina did! She’s worked hard, explored, learned and become so much more confident with herself. Sissy, I couldn't be any more proud. I love you!!

After the hospital, we went to the very tip top of the island of Manhattan to The Cloisters, an extension of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Its focus is on Early Christian, Romanesque and Gothic art and architecture. To my pleasure, The Cloisters housed my favorite altar piece, The Merode Altarpiece by Robert Campin, subject to many papers and assignments over the course of my art history education. Yes, I squealed. Yes, tears came to my eyes. Yes, I stood in front of it for about 10 minutes. It is more beautiful than I expected.

 Playing Cards, 1470-1480

 Robert Campin, The Merode Altarpiece, 1425

 Unbeknownst to me, Melina was taking pictures of me staring at the altar. My geekiness in black and white. No shame! 

"For scale" as Mrs. Hughes would say

After The Cloisters, we trekked are way to the Met. We ate in the American wing cafe just to the right of Greek inspired sculptures (it was lovely!). For my American Art class, my professor said I could do extra credit if I explored the American exhibit at the Met. That is where we started; followed by Impressionism, European paintings, a little bit of Byzantine and then Greek and Roman sculptures. I am one lucky girl! My parents and sister were kind enough to indulge me on all my squeals and listen to me as I explained different ideas, theories, symbols, and interpretations. To be honest, it was quite rewarding for me because it was the first time in a long time that I felt my education was really paying off. I am certainly grateful to be going to school at BYU and to have such spectacular professors.

 Gilbert Stuart, George Washington (Vaughn Portrait). I wrote an 8 page paper on this very portrait about 2 weeks ago. I about died...

 Thomas Cole, View from Mount Holyoke. My class learned about this and other Cole paintings about 3-4 weeks ago. I immediately knew it was a Cole from the "blasted tree". Thanks James!

Another picture from Melina I was unaware being taken of me ;)

Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze, George Washington Crossing the Delaware. This thing is massive! 

Chatting away about stylistic properties....thanks mom! 

 Winslow Homer, Northeaster 

 Madonna and Child 

 Claude Monet, Rouen Cathedral: The Portal (Sunlight) 

 Claude Monet, Bridge Over a Pond of Water Lilies

Claude Monet, Water Lilies. Mom and dad think of Elise when they see "Water Lilies". They wanted to make sure they took a picture in front of this. We missed you Leesie! 

Vincent van Gogh, Wheat Field with Cypresses 

 Vincent van Gogh, Self Portrait with a Straw Hat

It's like she's amused by this or something....

 William Bouguereau, Nymphs and Satry. I've studied this picture countless times in classes, but I had no idea it was as big as it is. This picture does not do it justice. It's massive! 

 Edgar Degas, The Dancers. In honor of my best ballerina friend, Hailey

 Kouros, Archaic (Greece)

Old Market Lady, Hellenistic (Greece) 

After the Met, we took the subway over to 5^th Avenue and went into some of the shops and looked at the window displays. 

We walked over to Rockefeller Square, Radio City and NBC Studios. For those of you who don’t know, dad is a very big “30 Rock” fan. I think he particularly enjoyed the NBC gift store and browsing through all the “30 Rock” and “Seinfeld” stuff. By this time, it was only 7-7:30 p.m., but we were EXHAUSTED. So, we made our way back to Melina’s apartment and ate dinner in true New York fashion – Chinese food take out & delivered right to the door. And I’ll tell you all, it was actually really good. I can understand a little better why they always depict New Yorkers eating Chinese food in their apartments now.

This morning, we got up at 3:30 a.m. to be ready for the town car that arrived at sissy’s apartment at 4:20 a.m. to take us to the JFK airport. We buzzed right through security, picked up some Starbucks and waited to board our flight. Now we’re home, showered, and spending the rest of our Thanksgiving break relaxing. I’m grateful I got to spend the holiday with my wonderful family. I’m grateful for my sweet parents and my courageous sister and the example she is to me!

Unfortunately, Mark, Elise and Jacob were in Colorado, but we’ll be seeing them in less than a week now and they’ll be staying with my parents for a month. Can’t wait to see them and show off my favorite boy!

I'm in love with this little Turkey! Can't wait to see him on Friday! :)

Loves!