Recently, I was given the book “Prudent Advice” by Jaime Morrison Curtis. The author wrote this book in honor of her little baby girl; barely 2 years old, to extend 500 pieces of wisdom as she goes through her life. The advice ranges from practical tips and tricks to witty opinions to sincere heartfelt messages. With many of her points, she includes poems, artwork (extra bonus points earned for that) and recipes. I've been surprised with how much I've enjoyed reading through the book. My eyes were glued to its pages with every whimsical comment and encouraging message she composes for the hopeful benefit of her “great love”, her daughter.
The first night I had it, I ended up staying up for a good 45 minutes to an hour after what should have been my bedtime, reading and reading what this inspirational author had to say. Many days and nights after that, I kept the book with me, taking it with me to read during downtime at work, in between classes and before the evening movie with the girls. I am honestly surprised with how much I've enjoyed reading this book. I agree with much of what she had to say. Yet, the idea came to mind that I too wanted to write a few things down for my future little one. Granted, I’m sure this list will change some and more will be added when that stage of my life begins, but I figure, why not start the process now? So here we go! Here’s to you baby. I don’t know when you’ll get here, but I promise to love you every moment when you do.
1. Learn about many religions, not just the one we teach you in our home
As part of my art history curriculum at BYU, I am required to take a “nonwestern art” credit. I chose Islam. Admittedly, when I started the class, I was nearly afraid of the Muslim community. 3 months later, I can tell you now this congregation of people is beautiful, humble and generous. You will find that many of us believe in the same things, we just worship differently.
2. Keep tissues in the car
There good for all sorts of purposes: blowing your nose, wiping up spilt soda or fry sauce from eating at Sonic, rubbing dust from the dashboard or removing tears from your eyes when you go for emotional drives
3. Find your own “comfort food”
Pre-Celiac disease: Chilie’s molten lava cake. Post-Celiac disease: IBC root beer, ice cream and chocolate
4. Sing and dance! Even if you’re bad at it
If, sweet one, you are anything like your mother (at least in 2013), you might not have the best singing voice, nor the innate talent of dancing. Do it anyway. Sing in the shower. Dance in your bedroom. Sing while you drive. Dance while you clean the toilet. It’s fun and spontaneous
5. Find something unique about every city you visit
I’ve learned that immaculate differences can be found even in something as simple as city limits. Find the quirkiness of each city you go to. You will find them if you open your eyes and look for them
6. Ask questions
There is nothing wrong in questioning what you are told. Even when it’s something I tell you. Question. Experiment. Learn for yourself what you want to know before you commit to it
7. Learn to be comfortable in the silence
Some of your most inspired thoughts and decisions will be made when it’s quiet. Don’t be afraid of the stillness. Embrace it
8. Appreciate art
“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time”
– Thomas Merton
9. Go camping
I have not acquired this particular…enjoyment in life. Rather, I hate the outdoors. However, grandpa knows of all the right campgrounds and all the right trails from beginners to experts. Go with him and I assure you, you will have a good time.
As an added bonus, he makes wonderful potato soup and brownies the last night of campouts
10. Sometimes you’ll have your heart broken
It pains me to write this. At the same time, it is inevitable that sometime in your life, you will get hurt. Not “fall off your bike and scrape your knee” hurt, but “hold your hand to your chest because the pain is too excruciating otherwise” hurt. Sometimes your friends will betray you. One might be taken from you before it is there time. Perhaps the one you love will decide to love another instead. I pray you never know such heartache. But if and most assuredly when this happens, it will be tragically difficult to get through some days and nights. Yet, I promise that you will make it through. It might take you weeks, months or, if you’re like your mom, years, but you will make it. In those moments of despair, I will do whatever I can and need to help you survive, as my mom has done for me, whether she knows she has or not
11. The key to good Gluten-Free chocolate chip cookies is milk and jello
12. Cherish your relationships; even the ones that take a lot of work
You are going to have many relationships in your life. Relationships with your family, with friends, with boyfriends, with co-workers, with teachers, with neighbors, with lovers, with perfect strangers. Not all of them will be easy. Work at them every day. You will find that some of the relationships you have to work the hardest at, will be the most valuable in your life
13. When in doubt bring an extra pair
14. There are all sorts of people in the world. And each is as special and unique as you
You will meet people in the world that are different than you; different denominations, races, and standards with different goals, ideas and strengths. That does not make them broken or beneath you. It just means they are different. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. They are God’s children too. Do not think of them any less
15. Take lots of pictures
A picture speaks a thousand words. There one of the best ways to preserve a memory
16. Talk to your grandparents
They will have more advice for you than I ever will. I’ve learned so much from them. You will too
17. Date everything
Letters, journals, pictures. Date it all. You’ll be surprised what you forget if you don’t
18. Don’t skip family get togethers
I admit; I stole this one from Jamie. She says “family get-togethers can be stressful and worrisome; I get that. But go anyway. You will eventually forgive your relatives for the annoying outbursts, lapses in judgment, and unwitting alienation they may have inflicted. One day, those frustrations will give way to cozy familial love, and you will wish you’d enjoyed more time together before they were gone forever”.
19. Befriend the bully
Many times, they’re the ones that need the friend the most
20. Do something that scares you
I include this now in hopes of convincing myself. This time next month, I will be in Athens, Greece with no one I know besides two professors I have greatly learned from over my years in college. Don’t tell anyone, but I am quite scared to go. Not because I go knowing no friends yet, but because it’s far, far away from anything and everything and everyone I’ve ever known. I’m choosing to believe that it will indeed be a good trip and I know that through the nerves, this will be a spectacular experience
21. Make mistakes
Make mistakes; that’s how you learn the best
22. Study what you love. Even if no else agrees with the decision. Myself included
If you feel passion for it, do it! It took me a long time to learn this lesson; however, if I did not learn it, I would not be graduating with my bachelor’s degree in art history in 9 months
23. Forgive. Give people second chances
Don’t question me on this one. You’re going to make mistakes. So will others. Don’t hold it against them forever. Forgive.
24. Girls can be mean, but they’re not all bad. Boys can be confusing, but you learn to appreciate them anyways
Don’t be a mean girl. And don’t let the boys you know be players. We’ll talk about this more when you enter your pre-teen years
25. The size doesn’t matter. If you’re not comfortable in the dressing room, you won’t be comfortable at home
I spent many, many years standing in dressing rooms rationalizing the smaller size, believing it was that single number that determined who I was entirely. This is not so. Pick clothes and shoes that will make you comfortable and confident; for it is when you’re comfortable in your own skin and appearance that you are most able to be who you really are
26. Befriend your siblings. They will be your best friends the younger and older you get
Aunt Melina and Aunt Elise are some of my best friends. I’m lucky though. Not everyone can say that about their siblings. Your family is with you forever. Through thick and thin. Through rain and sunshine. Befriend your brothers and sisters and you’ll find you always have a forever friend
27. Allow yourself to be forgiven
If I’m the same now as I will be in the future, I might not be the best example to follow in. Still, it’s something I’m always working on. Work on this also. Allow yourself to be forgiven. You’re entitled to that same peace you will allow others
28. [When] you get disappointed, listen to music
Indeed, much like heartbreak, you will have many disappointing moments in your life. [When] this emotion arises, plug in your headphones and put on some music. It’s a powerful tool
29. Learn to play the piano
29. Learn to play the piano
I've been attempting to learn since I was 8 years old. I’m still learning. The gift of instruments shouldn't be wasted; it should be explored
30. See people’s potential, most especially when you don’t like them
Everyone is important. Everyone has the potential to be greater than where they are at. Don’t give up on people. Don’t see their weaknesses, but relish in their strengths.
31. Watch documentaries
32. Create traditions for yourself
A good friend once introduced me to 7-Eleven steam milk. I’ve never been the same. When I get it, which is often, I grab 3 vanilla creamers. 2 for my drink, 1 for a “shot”. Tradition can’t be broken in my book! When I go, I do!
33. Save your money for a rainy day
34. Take naps
If you fight me on this as a child, I will happily remind you when you’re older ;) learn to love naps. They can be the utmost tender mercy some afternoons
35. Appreciate the people that are in your life, when they’re in your life. You never know when they’ll be asked to be taken away from you.
Unfortunately, you will never know your Aunt Brenda while you’re here. She died two September’s ago. She died very suddenly and it wasn’t until her passing did I realize how much I loved her. Ever since, I’ve tried to remind those I truly care for my affections. The feelings of regret are far worse than the 5 minute phone call you could have made
36. Take walks in the evening
37. Cats do not like to be wet. Trust me – don’t test this theory
Kittens. Cats. The feline race. Don’t give them a bath until you are prepared for the scratches. And, as strange as it may sound (it’s happened) don’t shower with them OR let others put cats in the shower with you. Believe me – it will hurt
38. It’s okay to have idols and people to look up to. Take the qualities you love in them, but stay true to who you are
Audrey Hepburn. That’s my idol. In my opinion, she’s everything that encompasses class, elegance and beauty. Pick your own hero. But don’t let the hero overtake who you are
39. Write it down. You’ll forget it if you don’t
40. When you’re in a bad mood, workout
Run, yoga, bike ride, walk, weight train, stair climber, Pilates, whatever. No matter what the reason behind the bad mood, do some sort of exercise and it will help you release that stress, anger or pain you feel. It might not solve the problem, but it will help you deal with it better
41. Write hand written letters
They’re much more personal and far more charming
42. Keep your house clean
"My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors"
- Bette Midler
43. You can find beauty anywhere. Anywhere.
Beauty exists not only in the gorgeous sunsets, rainbows or waterfalls, but in the smile of a child, the laughter of a lover or a puddle on a rainy day. It’s not in just the works of Andre Kohn or Bernini, but in the architecture of a building, the ending of a test well prepared for or in the flicker of a candle at the end of the day
Period.
45. Love is love. No matter who it is between.
Many will disagree with me on this, including many family members, but it’s something I feel very strongly about. It’s okay if you disagree with it, sweet girl, I simply challenge you to choose for yourself what you believe and then stick with it. I believe that love does not stop with just a man and a woman. I believe love exists in and for everyone. It should not be denied. It should not be pushed down. Love is love. And if the person you love chooses to love you back, don’t brush it away. Cling to that person and fight heaven and earth to keep that devotion alive.
Loves!
