Brenda

On Saturday September 24, 2011, my sassy and loveable Aunt Brenda passed away in a motorcycle accident. It was quite the shock for everyone that had the privilege of knowing her. In the difficult weeks that followed, I observed the strength of my family as we came together to mourn and grieve. I was allotted the chance to see the miraculous effect she’d made on the lives of her friends, clients, neighbors and yes, even puppies. Although the weekend we buried our Brenda was terribly difficult, I was greatly privileged to be among magnificent souls and caring individuals who paid their respects as we said goodbye to a long lost treasure in all of our lives.

To my family – how much I love you! Once again I’m struck with awe at the faith my parents, specifically my dad; who in situations such as these that could test your faith, have never wavered. I admire your testimony. I respect your courage when you say goodbye, but surely know it’s not the end. I marvel at my grandparents who proudly stood in behalf of their daughter and graciously accepted condolences and warm-wishes despite the pain so clearly visible in their eyes. I look up to both their examples and vigor. To my terrific uncle and devoted aunts that are left to carry on without their beloved sister, you all will be okay. While the pain and heartache seem unimaginable at times, may you remember that it’s not the end and soon enough, we will all be reunited with our Brenda. The valor in which each of you hold have helped and continue to help each member of the family in ways which are indescribable. To my own beautiful sisters – Melina and Elise – I love you both! Life goes by so quickly. May each of us remember to take the time to always be included in each other’s lives. You never know when the time will come that God wants one of us back with Him. I’m so thankful that families are forever. I couldn’t imagine spending an ounce of eternity without one of you! It wouldn’t be the same without grandma and grandpa’s hugs, Wayne’s humor, Lori’s stories, Shauna’s smile, Jenny’s unconditional love, Connie’s devotion, and Sara’s loyalty. Most importantly right now, it wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t get to hear Brenda’s laugh every day. While being separated hurts now, it renews my testimony of eternal families.

For those of you, who never knew my aunt, let me tell some things about her. Brenda loved life! She had the most jolly and cheerful laugh; probably the most infectious laughter I’d ever heard. She was fiercely independent. She had vigor for life that is uncommon to find. She was passionate. She was giving; she gave even when she had nothing to give. She opened her home to anyone in need. She truly loved her neighbor as herself. She added her own spice to life and never let the many obstacles and trials that came into it affect her. Her attitude she carried throughout her life is one I hope to develop as I push forward on my own path.

Brenda taught me many things; some only handy for a fun Saturday night and others that will be valuable my entire life. Many of these lessons were learned while she was alive, but many were also learned after her death. She taught me how to gamble on a slot machine. She taught me how to burn CD’s from a computer. She taught me that in order to be a perfect Halloween witch; you must have the perfect cackle. She taught me that despite what any “Clegg Family Christmas Gift Chart” said, you give presents to your favorite nieces (aka myself and sissy’s). J She taught me that however long or short a trip is I will always wear a helmet. She taught me that it’s okay to cry. She taught me how to stay positive in a situation that looks bleak. She taught me what it means to be faithful to your family. Although she didn’t always agree with the decisions of others, she supported them without fail. She taught me it’s okay to work on projects. She taught me how to have fun. After seeing the tremendous effect she had on the lives of her friends, she taught me what it means to not only be a friend, but be a good one too. The value she placed on friendship is one of the greatest lessons she’s left behind for me to follow. I was so touched by how loved and missed she was by her friends at the funeral and memorial BBQ held in her honor at her home. It takes somebody very special to get a motorcycle procession at her funeral and compel one’s friends to drive 3-5 hours to a small town Idaho funeral. Life is short and therefore I must take every second and live it to the fullest. This is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned from Brenda thus far. When she wanted to do something, she went right along and did it. She lived her life. She worked hard, played harder, and loved hardest.

I heard it once said that for every person you meet on earth, you have double the people cheering you on on the other side. I was promised that “angels would be my companions” as I walked my path through mortality. It gives me great strength and hope to know that Brenda is now one of those angels holding my hand and cheering me on. She was a huge supporter while she lived with me on Earth; I can only imagine how that’s grown now that she’s reached the other side. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking “I wonder what Aunt Brenda is saying right now...I bet she’s laughing” or she’s saying “I know it hurts, but get up and deal with it anyways” or “eat that Oreo – it’ll make you feel better!” That’s the kind of person Brenda was: determined, courageous, fun, and full of laughs & giggles. She lived in the “now” and was overall, happy.

Though Brenda had many fine qualities, she was far from perfect (as all of us are). She made mistakes too. What made the difference is she learned from them. She led a hard life, but walked it with a smile on her face. Brenda Godfrey is therefore one of my many heroes. It takes a person of incredible audacity to live as she did.

As life “moves on” without Brenda, I hope the lessons and example she left behind will be remembered. I know I will cherish my memories with her. I anxiously look forward to when I get to hear that laugh again. I know she is watching over me and our family and she’s exactly where she needs to be. I hope through my actions I make her proud. Like her, I am not perfect. I’ve made and make mistakes a lot. Too often it takes multiple lessons for me to learn what God has intended. Still, like my Aunt, you take it one step at a time, one day at a time, and never forget to wear your smile. As Brenda grew, people saw her change of heart. I hope that as I continue to grow up, those important to me can see my growth. My prayer is to develop the same love and zest for life that Brenda had. I pray I can be the kind of friend she was – even when I make mistakes. I pray to be the kind of sister she was; a sister who could always be depended on. I love you, Brenda. And as they say, “God be with you ‘til we meet again”

Loves!