Massages and Words

First lesson when creating a blog: take a freaking class! The past 24 hours of my life I’ve tried and tried to figure out how a darn blog site works. Trying to add pictures of my apartment seems to be comparably difficult as trying to add Jake Gyllenhaal to my Facebook friend list. Needless to say, I’m giving up on that endeavor for the moment and will wait patiently for my roommate to get home and explain it to me. In the meantime, however, I have some things on my mind that I care to write about.

Number one: At 12 noon today, Mrs. Veda Weinert came over to give the girls of the 306 massages. She’s currently going to Utah College of Massage Therapy and needed some girls to practice on. We were all too willing to offer our sore backs and necks to her services.

I lived with Veda on Chipman 3100 last year and I’m happy to report she still considers me her friend. She’s an impeccable example to me. Her strength and testimony will never be shaken. Although she is young and to most, getting married at our age is nothing short of crazy, I’m not worried for Allan and Veda though. I see a lifetime and eternity of happiness for the pair of them. Best wishes to you both! (Here is where I would have inserted a picture from her wedding reception last Saturday, but of course, that’s not working out for me very well. Soon. Very soon….)

One of the things I like most about Veda is her ability to find the good in other people, despite their pasts. She see’s people for who they are. Not the smile on your face, but can tell when a person is truly lonely or truly in need of a talking too. Thank you Veda! You mean the world to me. (And I’m not just saying that because you worked on my “golf ball” knots in my neck for over an hour)

Number two: I’ve been thinking this week about words. We speak words every day. Whether we talk to ourselves (don’t deny, we all do it), talk to the road as we run, talk to our roommates, talk to our spouses, talk to our sisters, talk to our professors and TA’s, talk to new friends, old friends and people we wish we could still call friends, we talk all the time. We speak words. But do we ever really listen to what we’re saying? Do we hear what comes out of our mouths? Do we realize what we say has meaning? Do we realize that when we say something, even if it’s just one word, we can either lift a heart or shatter it?

I offer an analogy for you. Although no one has ever hit me in the face, I think about the time I ran into a wall and had 7 stitches above my right eye. (Any questions about that, two words….Beehive. Mutual) Having a swarm of young women circle me while I waited desperately for my mom to arrive was less than fun, especially when the leaders kept telling me I would need surgery (smart to tell a 12 year old, right?) Let’s not even being to describe how much I “loved” the feeling of having a rather large needle go into my open wound in order to numb me for my stitches (and for a 12 year old, I was somewhat traumatized). Everyone getting my point? It hurt. It was a stinky situation I’d rather not repeat again. This summer, I worked with adults with disabilities. I’d like to use one of my clients as an example. We’ll call her name Barbie. Barbie had a little bit of a temper. She also hated pretty much 95% of the things that crossed her path. Needless to say, she didn’t like me from about the moment I walked into the room. One fine day, she got upset and pushed me to the floor. Later that night as I was getting dressed for my run, I noticed a perfect hand bruise on my stomach. Ladies and gentlemen, you think I’m kidding. I’m not. Perfect. Handprint. (Just in shades of purple and blue). Can we all say “aw?”

From these two examples I’ve given you, I’ve learned two important lessons. One: don’t play “crack the whip” in the dark in the church gym with a bunch of twelve year olds. Someone is bound to get hurt. Two: when you’re in the same room as Barbie, you stay on the opposite side. Unfortunately, learning mistakes from your words can be a little more challenging. It’s not so cut and dry; black and white. Words can have just as strong a blow, if not worse, than hitting a wall or being assaulted for offering ketchup on someone’s chicken nuggets. Words can hurt more than being slapped across the face. Words can hurt more than eating a Cocoa Bean cupcake when you have Celiac disease. Recently, I recall kneeling down in prayer and telling the Lord I’d rather be stabbed in the back with a knife than stabbed in the back with words. A knife injury you can heal from with stitches, bed rest, and lots of anti-scar creams. Harsh accusations, criticism, and plain mean dirty comments aren’t quite so easily recoverable. What we say to a person, even if it’s merely a fight for a few weeks or a disagreement for an hour, can pierce the heart and never be forgotten. I think when friends say “I’ll be here for you---no matter what.” ; no matter what. That’s a really big promise. And I fear that many of us have not kept it. Looking back, I can think of a few whom I’ve promised, but not fulfilled. Soon, something as powerful as words can mean nothing. They lose creditability. Who can one believe? Who can one trust? Why bother at all if the words people keep telling you keep hurting you? Why do you say sorry when you don’t mean it? Why lie to cover up a mistake? Why say “I’ll be there for you always” if you don’t intend on keeping that promise….even when ‘always’ is hard?

Now, you’re all probably thinking “wow Meg, bitter much? Upset much? Depressed much?” Actually I’m not. And I have a point to my somewhat pessimistic opening. Words can hurt. Words do hurt…sometimes. But words can also heal. They can make you happy. They can change you day. They can change your life. My friend Veda said one word and moments later she was married to the man of her dreams for time and all eternity. As I’m studying the New Testament this semester, I read how the Savior says, “Peace, be still” and everything becomes calm. I marvel at those early pioneers who said one word when asked to deny the Book of Mormon or the prophet Joseph Smith…”No.” If you’ve ever betrayed someone, the kindest, most sincere words you could ever hope to hear are “I forgive you”. Two people take a leap of faith when they look at each other and say “I love you.” Words mean something. They can produce a ripple effect in ways people tend to overlook. I know I have until recently. I understand better now why we’re counseled to speak kind and uplifting words. Words mean something. They can hurt. But they can bring peace. They can bruise your heart. But they can heal it too. May we all learn exactly what our words mean and what they can do. A few words can start a new and everlasting relationship. It can also break one. Do we want words to be the reason why pain resides in our hearts and our minds years later? Be careful how we use our words. Don’t let the bad words hurt you too much. That skill is a tough one to master. I’m still very much in the process of learning it, but I know that the mean words, the hurtful words, the word that sting, are the ones to overlook.

There are some words I wish I could take back. I wish I could take back the words I sent to Covey Wilson freshman year saying I’d pick up 10 pizzas and bring them to a cabin after I’d just moved my friend into her new apartment. (Talk about stressful! Not to mention one smelly car) I wish I could take back the words I said when I embarrassed myself in front of my seminary class sophomore year of high school when I said I wanted to sleep with a bear (some took that phrase a little too far, including my teacher). I wish I could take back the words I’ve said to people whom I’ve lost over the years. Whether it’s “right in the moment”, mean things are never right to say. I wish others would believe the words I say. I’m suggesting everyone has someone they can think of in whom they’re waiting to hear these 3 simple words: “I forgive you”. I wish I could go back and say words I kept only to myself. Had I said them, perhaps different outcomes could have resulted. Let us use our words with caution, but not forget to say the important things. May we all let go of the grudges we hold, the heartache we feel, and the anger which resides and use our words to let it go. May we each strive to be more loving, more forgiving, and more uplifting with our words. May we remember how blessed we are to use words; let’s not abuse them. Let’s not let words be the reason why years later we look back and regret. Let us use our words to make someone’s dream come true. Let us use our words and our ability to communicate be reflective of our Savior.

The people who care most are probably the one’s reading this. To each of you, I love you. I care about you. Even when I’m mad or hurt, I still care about you. I always will.

Loves!